I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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