i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
