"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
wow bdsm is so cute
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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