She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
