Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
operation have a gay friend backfired
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Randomize
