we're blogging at a bar
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
