i would punch a child for taco bell
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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