Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Randomize
