shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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