i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
