Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
