He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
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