the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
My penis needs a shock collar
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
