Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Acid is not a monday night drug
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
