Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
