I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
