He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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