Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?