Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.