ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Randomize
