i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I need a beard to bite.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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