Your tits are I can't wait for
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
