how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
