He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
