i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize