I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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