I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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