she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
