Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
