When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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