Sponge bath it is.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
