YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
