Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
She needs sedatives and a leash
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
