you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Sober January is a disaster.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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