well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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