all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
