Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
