i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
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i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
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Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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