i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Green mimosas i think yes
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
