I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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