Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Success! We fucked roommates!
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
