At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
