i just google imaged poop.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
