Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
