The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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