Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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