So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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