Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
