I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
