a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
