why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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