Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
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Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
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I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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