My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
