Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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