operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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