You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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