I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Never underestimate the power of titties
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