You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
