And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Boobs speak an international language.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
