wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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